Seating your guests is a more delicate exercise than one might imagine. It's that moment, the evening before a dinner, when you circle the table murmuring names — and when a poor decision can almost extinguish an evening before it begins. Here are the essential rules that the best hosts apply without even thinking.
The host and hostess
In the French tradition, the host and hostess sit facing each other, at the centre of the table. If you're cooking yourself, keep the place nearest the kitchen: you'll be able to slip away with ease.
The place of honour
The place of honour is always to the right of the hostess for a man, and to the right of the host for a woman. The second place of honour is on the left. Right takes precedence over left — always.
To whom does this seat belong? To your guest of honour, to the eldest among you, or to someone joining your table for the first time. It is a silent gesture of welcome — one that practised eyes notice at once.
Alternating men and women
Alternate men and women around the table without exception. This old rule remains the most effective way to keep conversation flowing and to prevent the table from splitting into two camps.
Couples
Separate married couples — it's the chance to cross other eyes. One exception: the engaged and those married less than a year, who are seated side by side by tradition.
Choosing neighbours
Beyond the formal rules, seating relies on a finer intuition. Bring together those who share an interest without forming a closed circle. Give each guest one easy neighbour and one to discover.
Thirteen at the table
Avoid this cursed number for the superstitious among your guests. The legend dies hard, and even those who claim to dismiss it often think of it in spite of themselves. Should someone cancel at the last minute, a child can fill the seat with grace.
A final word
Seating your guests is a kind of composition. A few minutes of thought the evening before spare many a silence — and give your table the chance to be what it can be at its best: a place of happy conversation.